


Rabbit Foot

by kimpossible



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Abominations (Dragon Age), BAMF Dorian, Enemies to Lovers, Fade Shenanigans, POV Multiple, Protagonist Is a Nobody, Slow Burn, canon adjacent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23267383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimpossible/pseuds/kimpossible
Summary: Dorian is running off to join the Inquisition, but this time he has someone in tow. Dys didn't want to leave Tevinter, but she didn't have much choice. The story of what happens when an elf's path to freedom comes with a spirit in her head and her daydreams about adventures suddenly become way too real, and just how does someone have to live to avoid corrupting a spirit of love?--“You were gone a few moments. How long did it feel? Did it feel instantaneous?”“I believe it was nearly a full day, my lord.”His brows narrowed dangerously. “A full day? Where were you for a full day?”“I believe I was in the Fade?”“In the Fade, physically? That’s impossible. There are rumours about… but there is no proof that it has ever been done.”“Yes. Sorry, my lord. It’s only, that’s what the demon told me.”
Relationships: Fen'Harel | Solas/Original Female Character(s), Male Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus, Original Female Character/Minor Relationships
Comments: 56
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Slavery, Brief Allusion to Sexual Assault (not of any specific character)

Dys shifted from foot to foot. “Can’t you hurry up?”

“I’m moving as quick as I can. Do you want me to cut myself?”

“He’ll blame me if it’s late.” She didn’t mean to push the cook, the woman had enough to contend with, but her anxiety was beginning to win over.

“He adores you,” Cook responded dryly. “Forgive me if I’m not overly sympathetic.”

“It only saves me from so much of his wrath. I’d still rather not set him off.”

“It’s ready,” she responded as she plated the slice of pie and handed it over with a glass of the boysenberry dessert wine.

“Thank you,” Dys gasped as she darted out of the kitchen and towards the study. She crossed the room briskly, setting it down silently next to Alexius’s work.

“Took long enough,” he commented mildly, raising the glass to his lips.

“Yes, my lord. Sorry, my lord.” Dys gave a small curtsy and turned to leave.

“Wait.” He reached out and grabbed her wrist. “I grow tired. Stay and read to me, pet.”

“Yes, my lord.” Dys lifted the book off the cluttered surface of his desk. He had been less tidy of late and seemed unwell, she noted uneasily. She stood before him and began reading the dense material. He was working on time magic again. She recognized the subject matter from years passed. She paused. He hadn’t looked into time magic since Felix took ill, favouring research into the Blight and curing diseases. Why had he suddenly abandoned that work? Alexius was many things but she did not believe he would give up on his son. 

She raised her eyes to him and saw him watching her, assessing as he raised a forkful of pie to his lips. She quickly returned her eyes to the page and resumed reading. Every once in a while he would nod, or jot something down between bites. Eventually he pushed his plate away and turned his attention more fully to her words.

Honestly, she only understood half of what she was reading. He had ensured she was taught enough that she could follow the flow of a sentence and correctly pronounce complicated magical terms, but she did not need to understand the nuance of meaning or implication. She had begun to get quite adept at understanding the Blight and healing arts while he had been focused on Felix’s illness, but she was never really able to grasp Fade theory or experimental time magic.

A pair of hands on her hips stopped her words again. “Sit with me,” he murmured, turning her and pulling her into his lap. He liked to do this sometimes too, when they were alone and she was reading to him. He liked to hold her, call her his pet, and feed her. Dys had been bothered by it at first, certain it would escalate and she would be subjected to the same kinds of attentions the girls at the market whispered about, but it never did and now she was used to it. She had briefly thought the attentions were more fatherly but that hope had been quickly dashed. He really did view her as a kind of pet, she supposed. She wasn’t really person enough for him to think about in any other way. 

Except as his good luck charm, of course. It was how she got her name: Dys. It meant luck or chance in her language. He said she was on’dys, good luck, one day when he and Dorian had made a breakthrough while she was cleaning the room. It stuck and they had begun to teach her things and had given her a tutor so she could help in minor ways. She was a regular fixture in the study now. His on’dys.

Maker knows how he learned the elvish words. Magisters were full of secrets that one had better not ask.

She had been Dys for almost ten years now. Before that she had been Bunny. A cruel joke from her former master who did not like that her mother gave birth to another rabbit mouth to feed. She couldn’t even use magic. What good was another idiot girl to wash the floors? So she was sold off as soon as she was old enough to toddle about and help with the chores. Alexius hadn’t bothered learning her name until she proved lucky, and then hadn’t liked the one she gave him. It was too degrading for one her. (Whatever that meant.) And so Bunny became Dys to everyone who knew her now.

She never told anyone her real name. The one her mother gave her. The one she held tight to her chest at night. It was only for her, and she loved no one well enough to share it. Enleana. A spark to ignite change. Her mamae wanted her to change the world. 

Good luck with that.

The bitter part of her that wanted to live up to her name, and fantasized about adventure, frequently commented at her like that. Dismissive. Annoyed.  _ Good luck with that. _

She felt him jerk suddenly, reacting to something she had recited. He pushed her off his lap. “I must write this down. Your presence has been a boon as usual, Dys. Run along for tonight and I will see you in the morning. Also, take this letter and make sure it finds its way out.”

She curtsied and took the offered missive. “Yes, my lord. Good night, my lord.”

He was no longer paying attention, scribbling away intently on some idea or another.

\--

“Dys. Please come here.” Felix kept his voice soft, trying to avoid startling the elf. She was skittish around him in a way he didn’t know how to navigate.

“Yes, my lord,” she murmured and scurried over.

“My father’s not here.”

“Yes. Sorry... Felix.”

Felix smiled. He liked hearing her say his name. It felt like something akin to trust. “How was my father this evening? I’m worried about him.”

Dys pressed her lips together, looking pointedly at her feet. There was clearly something she wished to say, he could read it on her face easily, but either loyalty or fear kept her silent.

“Dys. Please. I promise not to tell him what you said. I’m only concerned. He’s been meeting with strange people as of late-” Felix cut himself off. He was oversharing with her again. He kept doing that.

“He’s researching time magic again,” she whispered. Felix’s eyes widened. It had been years since he’d pursued that. “And, umm… he’s written to Master Pavus.”

Felix was overwhelmed by both concern and joy. Something had changed and it had to do with those Venatori his father had been meeting with. He was certain of it, and certain it couldn’t be good. At the same time, Dorian might be coming. He’d get to see his old friend again and perhaps, together, they would be able to discover what was going on and fix things.

“Thank you, Dys. You may go.” She practically fled from him. He frowned as he watched her retreating back. Hopefully it was only because she had shared information about his father. He had thought they’d turned a corner recently and were getting back to their previous relationship. Perhaps he was wrong and this would take longer to mend. Years growing up together as the only two children in a household had made a connection all but certain, but adulthood was different. 

He was an idiot, of course. Had been since he was a young lad and his father first realized he was growing infatuated with her. He’d been warned, thoroughly and adequately, against being caught dallying with an elf. His magical ineptitude meant that his reputation would not survive such an inclination. Some magisters might use the bodies of their slaves but a crush was unacceptable. He’d listened, crumpled whatever burgeoning feelings he might have had into a ball and thrown them away.

That was before he found out he was dying and his reputation didn’t mean as much to him anymore. She’d cried for him, her friend as much as these things could be, and he’d kissed her. Father had been furious when he found out and Felix barely managed to talk him out of beating her senseless with assurances that it was a momentary impulse on his part and nothing more. She was lucky his father was fond of her. Any other slave would not have escaped unharmed and, as it was, she went without food for days while locked in her room as the magister fumed. Eventually he grew tired of working alone and called for her, feeding her by hand as she was given explicit instructions on how she was to act around Felix while Felix himself was made to stand and watch, thereby receiving the same lecture.

Still, he’d hoped their tentative friendship would survive. It was perhaps doubtful now, with his father growing more irritable, driven, and reactive than ever since he’d become involved with that group of cultists.

Felix shook his head and withdrew to his study to write his own letter to Dorian. The man ought to know what he might be getting into by answering whatever overtures were being made in his father’s missive.

\--

“Dys. Refill this inkwell for me and bring me that tome on the Veil by Alineus.”

“Yes, my lord.” Dys scurried to grab the requested items, the voices of her master and Master Pavus filling her ears.

“You can’t be serious. These Venatori are clearly insane. Even if you can make it work with those adjustments, you cannot give that sort of power to a deranged cult!”

“I intend to give them nothing. I will enact the requested changes in exchange for what I want.”

“You don’t know what the consequences will-”

“Stop pretending you are not interested, Dorian, and take a look at this.”

Dorian was reviewing some of Alexius’s written notes when Dys returned with the requested items. Alexius snatched the book and flipped to a marked page. “Look here,” he instructed. “You see? A clue buried beneath a dozen footnotes this whole time. Even without realizing it, our findings align with previous research. We were closer than we thought when it was all put on hold.”

“Fasta vass. It seems possible but I cannot condone actually attempting it.”

“I do not require your approval, Pavus,” he sneered. “Now you will assist me or you will get out.”

“Alexius, I really think-”

“Then leave me.”

“I don’t-”

“Get out!”

Dorian stormed from the room, muttering under his breath. Alexius appeared to be preparing certain elements in the room for whatever he was about to attempt. “Dys, my on’dys,” he sighed. “Come stand over here, my dear.”

“Yes, my lord.” Dys gave a short bow and moved to where he was gesturing. Her brows knit with concern at the heavy bags under his eyes. He and Master Dorian had been known to bicker on occasion but she had never seen him react with such anger towards the man. He had genuine love for him, second only to his love for Felix.

“I want you to remain fixed there, no matter what happens, okay?”

“Yes, my lord.”

Alexius began doing something with an amulet, reciting words that were familiar but meant nothing to her. The room began to glow and she started to feel funny. A hazy, fuzzy feeling started in her feet and began to travel up her legs. She stared at them, eyes wide, but could see nothing wrong. Her heart raced and every bit of her itched to bolt from that room but she stayed put, wagering that whatever was happening could not possibly be worse than the punishment for disobeying.

As the sensation traveled up her neck and into her head, her vision began to blur and her thoughts became disorganized and fragmented. For a moment, she was certain her consciousness existed in complete separation from the rest of reality before they both came slamming back together.


	2. Chapter 2

Dys wobbled, disoriented, and she realized her surroundings had shifted completely. The landscape was rocky and the air felt thick. As she looked around, she almost thought she could see it but that must be her imagination. Air was not visible, and this was nothing like smoke or fog. The entire scene glowed with a faintly green tinge.

“Hello?” She called out into the emptiness.

What should she do? She’d only ever been four places before: the house where she was born, Master Alexius’s estate, the market, and once she had been taken along on a trip to a large library with Master Alexius and Dorian because they thought they might need an extra hand. This was completely new. She was alone and in an unknown place. 

She had no rubric by which to make decisions about her next steps.

Should she pick a direction and start walking? Should she stay put and hope somebody finds her? Surely Master Alexius would look for her?

Yes. Yes, she should wait for him. She was his good luck. He would not simply abandon her to this strange environment. He would come for her.

Dys picked out a large outcropping of rock and settled herself on top of it, scanning around for any signs of rescue.

She waited.

She waited a long time. At least, it felt like a long time. She wasn’t used to not having things to do. Eventually she fell asleep.

She woke to a hand slowly stroking her hair. “Shh. Shh. Don’t move too fast. You’ve been through a lot, Dys.”

“Felix?” She pushed herself up gently and his hand remained in her hair, holding the back of her head gently. “Where are we?”

“We are in the Fade.”

“How? Why?”

“Something my father did, I suppose.” His thumb drifted across her temple slowly, stroking back and forth.

“How do we leave?”

“You don’t. I’m sorry, but you know how my father feels about us. I have to leave you behind.”

“What do you mean? Felix, you can’t leave me here.” Dread crept into her chest. Would he really abandon her to this place?

“I cannot bring you with me. You know why.”

“There is no danger, Felix. I promise. Your father doesn’t have to worry about me. Please.” She begged. “Please, I trust you.”

“I am sorry, my Dys.” He pulled his hand from her head and stood before turning and walking away from her, his footsteps echoing preternaturally off the rock formations surrounding them.

“Felix, you were my friend!” She felt her heart dropping somewhere low, a wail of despair bubbling up in its place.

Felix stopped. “Perhaps. Perhaps there is a way.”

Dys felt frozen. He truly seemed as though he would have left her. A sick feeling in her gut told her this was merely a misdirection. Or was it?

“Dys, what would you give me to get you out of here?”

She had to try. “Anything. Everything. But I have nothing.”

He strode back to her, grasping her chin between his thumb and index finger and looking deep into her eyes. “Would you give me all of you? Would you let me inside you?”

She trembled under his gaze but his grip would not allow her to turn her head away. So this was it. All this time, it was the man she thought was her friend who was the real danger to her. He would trade their friendship for her compliance when she had no choice but to give it to him. She thought in that moment that she would never trust or have hope in anyone again.

She had to say yes.

“This is very poorly done of you, Despair.”

Felix turned, his eyes flashing. “Leave us alone. It is done.”

“She is no mage exploring our realm and seeking power. She has no skills with which to fight you. Can’t you see she was sent here by accident? She deserves our aid, not to be preyed upon.”

The hand on her chin dropped and she turned her head towards the source of the voice. It was not quite substantial, a hazy figure that looked a little like a person. 

“I want to go,” Felix asserted. “I don’t want to be here anymore. She can help me.”

“No. It is unfair. Move on.”

“This place holds nothing for me. I can cross inside her and-”

“That world holds nothing for you either. I am sorry. You deserve better but this is not the way.” Dys felt a warmth and caring emanating from the form. Despite her chastisement and harsh words, she felt a genuine affection for Felix coming from her.

No, not Felix. She saw it now. He was wrong somehow, though she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

Felix dropped open his mouth and an anguished scream filled her ears so fully that she had to cover them with her hands to try and keep the noise out. Her head was so full of pain that she cried some of it back onto the ground and her knees buckled with the weight. She squeezed her eyes as tight as she could. It was too much. She couldn’t take anymore.

Then just as suddenly it ended and she chanced opening one eye to see that he was gone. The other figure remained, hovering gently a few feet away. “Where is Felix?” She whispered the words, afraid to make more sound than that.

“That was not your Felix,” it responded gently. “That was Despair.”

“What did he want from me?” Dys blinked rapidly, splashing the remainder of her tears down her cheeks. 

“It wanted to take you over and cross the barrier to your world.”

“I could have gone home?” 

The being flickered, a sadness for her preceding its words. “It would have consumed you. It is too interested in its own state. You would have become Despair and no more of yourself would remain.”

Her heartbeat thudded out of tempo as the realization of what that meant dropped onto her chest. _Abomination._ She had never seen one but she knew enough to fear it. “Thank you for sending it away,” she whispered.

The spirit beamed. She could identify it as a spirit now. She couldn’t see a mouth but she was certain it had smiled at her and she immediately felt that she liked this spirit very much. 

“What kind of spirit are you?”

“I am a spirit of compassion, though many who know me call me Love. ” As soon as the words were said, Dys could feel the truth of them. Everything about this spirit emanated caring and love.

“Love, please. Can you show me how to get home?”

Another flicker told her the answer was not what she was hoping. “I am sorry. I know only one way for you to get home and it is not what I would wish for either of us.”

Dys lowered her head. So she was trapped here.

“I would not see you sad either,” it added in a voice that sighed with great weight. “I can see who you are and I like you a good deal. Your happiness is now important to me. I will send you home if it is truly what you wish.”

“More than anything. Please, I am scared.” A small part of her felt shame at admitting it, that last bit of her that had believed she might be one for adventure extinguishing its hope.

“Very well. I will enter you and bring us across the barrier together.”

“Enter me?” Dys heard her voice squeaking but she could not quite control it.

“Oh, now I have scared you. I do not mean to. Yes, I can save you but, yes, we will always be together.”

“Like an abomination?”

“If you will. I have heard visitors refer to it as such but unlike Despair, or most of the spirits here who wish to join with humans, I will not take you over. Neither through intent nor careless self-interest will I consume you and take over. It is not in my nature. Our arrangement could be more… a partnership.”

Dys could feel a calm acceptance of the proposal from the spirit. It did not wish to cross the barrier but it also did not hate the idea of being tied together with Dys. She knew this somewhere in her body and it was reassuring. The spirit would not harm her.

“You’ll be in my head?”

“In a manner of speaking.”

“Won’t that be unpleasant?”

“I enjoy watching. You are all so fascinating and lovely in your own ways. I think I could appreciate making some new connections.”

Dys nodded slowly. She had to go home. What other option was there? “Alright, Love, what do I do?”


	3. Chapter 3

She was in Magister Alexius’s study. “Dys. Refill this inkwell for me and bring me that tome on the Veil by Alineus.”

“Yes, my lord.” Dys watched herself dart across the room to fill the request and pressed backwards, further into the shadow.

Her Master and Dorian were arguing, and she knew enough of her own discomfort at that moment to know that she would not notice her own presence. Fasta vass, but this was confusing.

There were two of her now.

Two of her now, but soon there wouldn’t be, she supposed. Soon that other version of herself would disappear. Should she try and stop it? What would it mean if she never went to that place in the Fade? Would she still have a spirit in her head?

She could feel it there. A strange sensation, but it was quiet.

Dys was startled from her thoughts by the sound of Alexius yelling and Dorian storming from the room.

“Dys, my on’dys,” he sighed. She almost went to him on instinct, before realizing that he was of course speaking to the other her. “Come stand over here, my dear.”

She watched herself obey him, no questions or concern over what was about to happen to her, and she wondered if he’d really earned that trust or if obedience was simply so ingrained in her that questioning him hadn’t even occurred to her. She had been scared, but easily controlled. Even now, she was letting him do it again.

She squeezed her eyes shut as Alexius began his spell. She didn’t want to know what it looked like when she disappeared. She didn’t want to see the look of fear on her face. She didn’t want to know if she faded away or simply blinked out of being. It was safer to close her eyes.

“Dys?” She opened her eyes at the sound of his voice. Was he speaking to her this time?

Alexius looked at the spot where she had disappeared, waiting. “Venhedis,” he hissed. “When did I send her to?” He began rifling through his notes, a tinge of panic to his movements. 

“I’m here, my lord,” she said simply as she stepped from the shadows. Before she’d even finished speaking, the more adventurous voice in her head told her she shouldn’t be so quick to allay his discomfort after what he’d done and she felt a ripple of disapproval from Love, a formless reaction to her self-criticism. 

He strode towards her, examining her intensely and grabbing her shoulders. He breathed a sigh of relief and stroked her head. “You were gone a few moments. How long did it feel? Did it feel instantaneous?”

“I believe it was nearly a full day, my lord.”

His brows narrowed dangerously. “A full day? Where were you for a full day?”

“I believe I was in the Fade?”

“In the Fade, physically? That’s impossible. There are rumours about… but there is no proof that it has ever been done.”

“Yes. Sorry, my lord. It’s only, that’s what the demon told me.”

Alexius’s eyes flashed. “A demon? You did not allow it to possess you, did you? Kaffas! How would you even know?” Dys opened her mouth to respond but he was shaking her, nearly in a panic. “Did you bring it back inside you?”

Then, for the first time in her life, Dys lied.

“No, my lord. I did not bring anything back, though it tried. I was wrenched from the Fade before it could.”

He glared at her for a long while, his eyes searching hers as though the truth would somehow reveal itself in them, before relaxing and abandoning his grip on her. “Thank the Maker for that small solace.” At once, he was no longer interested in her, turning back towards his work. “Still, the spell did not work. What went wrong?” 

“All due respect, Master Alexius, I believe it did work. I returned to this room about five minutes before you sent me away.”

\--

Dorian was packing, gathering everything he had brought with him to this house and leaving. Felix sat on the edge of his bed, watching sadly.

“You can stay, Dorian. He kicked you out of his study, not the home.”

“Felix, my dear man, your father has gone raving mad and I will not be near when this all explodes. You could come with me, however.”

Felix shook his head. No. Dorian knew it would be that way. “Leaving will not moderate his actions. Besides, I do not think I have much time left, perhaps a year at most.” Dorian felt the lump growing in his throat and looked away before it made its presence more widely known. “I would spend that time with my father, whatever his shortcomings.”

“I understand. I will write. If nothing else, I will let you know what else I can discover about what these Venatori are up to. Someone has to save this damned country from its own arrogance.”

Dorian grabbed his satchel and opened the door to see an elf bolting past in a blur.

“Dys?” Felix called out to her. “Dys, stop.”

She stopped, her shoulders heaving as she stared down at her feet. The two men scrambled down the hall after her. “Yes, my lord. What can I do for you?” A broken voice sounded from under wild hair.

Felix reached out, a finger under her chin raising her face to their gaze before it dropped again. Her whole face was red and blotchy. Frantic eyes poured water down her cheeks, rivulets causing clean lines in a strange dirt that marked her face which had not been there before. 

“What happened,” Felix asked. “Did my father do something to you?” 

If it had been another man, Dorian would have drawn certain conclusions, but Alexius had not shown that kind of interest in anyone since his wife died. He was angry when Dorian left though. If that rage had been turned to the elf, it may have been unpleasant. 

The elf shook her head. Like she would say anything, Dorian thought. There was nothing to gain from admitting such a thing.

“I sent her through time.” The magister’s voice sounded from the far end of the hall. “She is merely a little shaken and will be fine.”

Dorian felt his mouth fall open slightly and he turned to look at the girl. Whole, solid, apparently healthy. Emotionally distraught, yes, but he had done it.

“Come, Dys. I still need you.”

She moved to obey but Felix reached out and grabbed her arm. “No. She is clearly upset, father. Find a different test subject for now.” 

“You are too gentle, my son. We must do what’s needed to-” His eyes met Dorian’s and he cut himself off, turning back to his study in frustration and slamming the door. Dorian felt a twinge of sympathy. He had to resist the urge himself to sit her down and interrogate her on everything she had experienced.

“There, see?” Felix soothed. “It’s over. You can relax.”

She shook her head, trembling all over. “I think maybe it’s only just started,” she whispered, haunted eyes staring up at her momentary protector.

\--

Dys paced in the tiny room, plucking at the edge of her curls as she mumbled to herself. She could feel the tentative efforts of the spirit inside her trying to soothe her. Only, they didn’t know each other well yet and the presence of the spirit asserting itself only shook her further. 

In the moment it had seemed so obvious. Merging with the spirit was the only way to cross back over and was certainly better than being trapped in the Fade forever, but now she was an abomination and a slave in a country full of powerful Magisters. She shuddered as she imagined the tests and experiments they would run on her if they found out. Love was trying again and with their developing communication managed to craft a single word. _Sorry._

Maybe she should tell Felix, he was her friend and he would protect her if he could. Wouldn’t he? A bubble of doubt ballooned and burst in her stomach. He might not. He might be as afraid of the idea as his father was and she wasn’t sure if there was any friendship that could overcome that level of horror. No, she had better hide.

Of course she would hide, that small critical voice commented as though it was another wholly separate spirit in her head. She had been hiding in some way her entire life. She was an expert at making herself small and nearly invisible with only two titanic mistakes: still being in his study that day when Alexius and Dorian had made that breakthrough, and becoming too close to Felix. Stupid. Almost as stupid as thinking of them by first name in her less cautious moments. Some day she would slip up and it would cost her.

Loud voices in the hallway called her attention away from her anxious thoughts. Just as well, she was getting nowhere with herself. 

“Can you not give her a few days at least?” Felix. His voice was frustrated and strained. “Run your experiments on a piece of lab equipment or something.”

“And what do you imagine a piece of parchment will be able to tell me about its experience?” Alexius asked, his voice dripping with disdain. Dys pressed her ear against the door and was able to hear the exhausted exhale that followed. “I am sorry, my son. I do not mean to lose my patience with you, but it is necessary and you will cease arguing with me.”

Dys jumped backwards at the sound of the doorknob turning. Alexius hardly looked at her before issuing his edict. “Come with me.” Obediently, she followed and the sound of her heart thundering against her ribcage was so loud it drowned out her footsteps. Was he going to examine her? What if he could tell she had a spirit inside her? 

Love offered no solace. If it knew what was happening and whether they could be found out, it wasn’t disclosing anything.

“I have considered why you might have found yourself in the Fade and made some changes accordingly. Things should go more smoothly now.”

“What if I do end up back there?”

Alexius’s sharp glare told her she had spoken the words out loud. It was not her place to question him. 

“How will I return?” She continued, her voice appropriately meek.

Alexius continued his impatient movements as everything was prepared to enact the experiment again. “However you did the last time.”

“I’m not sure I can.” Love was again quiet on the matter.

“Enough,” he snapped. Her mouth snapped shut obediently in response, almost as though done by magic, and she could find no more words she was brave enough to utter. She squeezed her eyes closed as she heard the familiar sounds of Alexius beginning his spell. And then silence.

She opened them a moment later and he was gone. It was the same room but she seemed to be alone.

“My lord?” She called out into the dim room. Turning about, she could see no sign of him.

Quickly she moved towards the door and slowly creaked it open. “My lord?”

Still nothing.

The hallway was lined with windows on one side and moonlight caused long shadows from the trees outside to stretch crooked limbs across the floor. It was nighttime. She had gone through time again.


	4. Chapter 4

A week. She had lost a week of her life to the latest experiment. Dys shifted on the thin mattress, sleep eluding her in favour of ruminating on the same thought again and again. Not like you would have done much of interest with that week, she tried to tell herself. It doesn’t matter. It was _my_ week, she protested back.

Love tried to soothe her, offering a sense that the week was not lost, merely shifted. Changed. 

Dys sighed. She didn’t want to be soothed. She wanted to be angry. She wanted to be angry enough to fight back. To run away and take her chances on finding the liberation movement she heard whispers of in the market. To train up and come back and make _him_ feel powerless. To do something other than freezing or hiding. 

_Felix._ He could help, Love insisted. It had warm thoughts of safety about Felix. _Good. Help._

No. Felix had not stood up to his father yet, and he was unlikely to. She was stuck and she was on her own.

_Sleep._

But she didn’t want to sleep. Sleep brought the threat of nightmares about her time in the Fade and Despair and experiments trapping her somewhere she couldn’t return from.

\--

_Dearest Dorian,_

_By the time you read this, you may have heard of our strange and abrupt departure from Tevinter. Father has been cryptic about why but it seems we are taking care of certain matters in the South for the Venatori. We are going to Redcliffe, in Ferelden - which is both depressing and worrisome. I am amazed father has insisted I travel with him, despite my recently worsened health. I have regular bouts of weakness and have fallen on occasion, but he pursues the course with a feverish zeal and I am to attend him. I worry._

_I worry also for Dys. She has been moved through time on six occasions and she has not been the same. Father now obsesses over her. He is not kind. He is suspicious. It seems he feels her different behaviour is not due to anything he has done. For myself, I question this. Is his own behaviour and being subject to a magical experiment not enough explanation? She will accompany us to Redcliffe and I wonder if it might be possible to ‘lose’ her somehow in the South. It may be safer for her to never return to my father’s home._

_Please tell me you have discovered anything that might shed light on what is going on? As far as I can tell, the Venatori’s ‘Elder One’ seems to be a real figure rather than legend and my father is serving him, somehow. He is not the same man he once was._

_Seeing your face in Redcliffe would be immensely reassuring, my friend. But I understand if you do not come._

_Felix_

\--

His impatience ought to have been ironic, given the nature of what he was about to do. His experiments had become more powerful and more precise, but he still worked against a ticking clock when it came to his son. If he died before the Elder One cured him, could he go back in time to make it happen? Would the Elder One put an advantageous position at risk to fulfill his promise? Alexius was too afraid of causing a rift in their alliance to ask.

He watched the entrance as Felix exited, with Dys at his side helping with the luggage despite Felix’s attempts to look more hale and capable than he truly was. He was having a bad day for his lethargy. Alexius could always tell. As he watched, Felix made a joke and Dys laughed obediently but the smile didn’t quite take over her face and she seemed more invested in something happening in her own head than in the goings on around her. Felix frowned at her in concern and Alexius felt a similar emotion. There was something concerning going on with that girl.

He noticed it when she thought he was not watching her, conversations in her mind playing out on her face. It happened sometimes at about that age. The mind turned on its owner and presented things that weren’t really there, but this was not that. Alexius had slipped her potions for that issue, it was treatable after all, and found no improvement. Felix wanted to blame him for scaring her with his experiments but that notion was ridiculous. He had sent her both backwards and forwards through time with no physical effects and had, in fact, gotten rather precise in his calculations. There was no need for her to be scared. But then, even if she was cleverer than most, she was an elf and they had weaker minds. 

Dys began shoving packs of supplies onto the roof of the carriage with the aid of the carriage driver and Alexius brusquely gestured for Felix to enter. They needed to make better time. The tight ball of guilt that he’d been carrying in his gut for years throbbed at him. The dark circles under Felix’s eyes betrayed the intensity of his nightmares and his son didn’t deserve such pain. 

Alexius stayed out of the carriage to watch and ensure Dys got into the servants’ wagon, part of him certain she would try to slip away when he wasn’t looking. He never would have considered it weeks ago but she could no longer be trusted. Something was there that hadn’t been there before.

\--

Dys watched and listened from a stool in the corner as the two men plotted. She had been pulled across the world by men who spoke of things that should have nothing to do with her and she was frightened and exhausted. That voice that used to tell her she wanted adventure was now silent. It turned out adventure meant less control and more confusion as she moved between situations that she didn’t understand and no one spoke to her about what was occurring. She was tired of it and she wanted to go home. Love tinkled softly in her mind. _These ones care about you._ Dys wasn’t so sure.

Master Pavus was gesticulating wildly from his position across the room and she was quite certain all of Redcliffe could hear him. For someone trying to hide from Alexius, he certainly had all the stealth of an irate druffalo. It wasn’t as though their meeting place was private, currently empty though it may be. “But why, Felix? He’s drafted an army with his plotting and we have yet to learn anything of his true plans. If he means to hand them to the Venatori to attack Ferelden, then why remain here?”

“He’s waiting for the Herald of Andraste. I do not know why but the Venatori are obsessed with him.”

“The Venatori are obsessed with a Dalish elf from the Free Marches? Seems a bit odd for Tevinter supremacists.”

Felix shrugged. “Maybe it’s connected to the magic he did on Dys. The Herald supposedly did step out of the Fade, after all. Same as her after that first experiment.”

Dys blinked and shrank under the gaze of the two men who had suddenly turned their attention towards her. 

“Which we still don’t understand,” Dorian mused, his eyes examining her like a foreign puzzle he would very much like to solve. “It doesn’t quite fit though. Alexius has mastered the technique well enough to bring an entire delegation here from the future and take over. What more could he possibly need?”

“Perhaps a way to stabilize it.”

Dorian hummed thoughtfully, his fingers plucking at his moustache. 

“He doesn’t care about stabilizing it,” Dys mumbled, immediately regretting bringing their attention back to her. Apparently there was one thing she understood about this whole confusing mess that they did not yet. “He only cares about Felix.”

“But he stopped researching a cure. What does this have to do with Felix?” Dorian was unusually still for a moment as he processed her words. 

“All of this is for the Venatori,” she continued. “He thinks they can save Felix. They’ve given him some kind of hope.”

Felix shook his head, his mouth stretched tight in anguish. “My continued existence causes nothing but problems. I find myself wishing this disease would just run its course already.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Dorian snapped, even as Dys cringed. She hated him sometimes and cared fiercely for him in others. Felix was somehow the closest connection she had in this world. They all stared silently at each other, the moment frozen and delicately waiting to crack. _He didn’t mean it,_ Love said to her.

A loud crackling noise caused Dys to cover her ears and she flinched away from the bright light that suddenly invaded her senses. A familiar greenish glow had taken up a large amount of space in the empty Chantry, shifting and crackling in the air. A shape began to form and emerge from the light and she recognized it instantly, not by look but by feeling. It was Despair. Not the same Despair, Love told her, and Dys felt a strange mix of compassion and disapproval for the demon coming from the spirit.

She stared at it, unable to move her feet. Far away she could hear Dorian yelling over the sounds of the spells firing from his staff and feel Felix tugging on her arm. “Get her out of here! I’ll dispatch this one and keep watch to make sure none get out into the city. Just get that Herald here somehow, and don’t let Alexius know.”

Dys watched as the Despair demon shrieked and flew at Dorian before it crumpled and faded as Dorian’s magic overwhelmed its defenses. “Dys. We need to leave.”

Dys nodded, her faculties returning to her as the star of many recent nightmares disappeared. “Okay.”

Dorian raised his eyebrows, his mouth twitching with amusement. “And yet you are still standing there.”

A long shadow draped itself over Dorian, cast by a figure rising behind him that was both impossibly black and glowing like hot coals. Suddenly, Dys felt a great swelling of feeling in her mind and her fingertips tingled and she watched a flash of bright light fill the room and dissipate almost as suddenly. She was aware distantly of her body moving without her control and the feeling of being directed like a puppet on strings. 

The creature was gone and Dorian and Felix were staring at her in alarm. “What in the blasted black divine was that?” Dorian’s expression went through several emotions quickly as he put pieces together. Surprise. Gratitude. Alarm. Determination.

“Dys?” Felix had lowered his voice almost impossibly soft, his eyes written through with fear.

“Felix, our assistant is possessed.”

“She can’t be possessed. That was just… magic.”

“You know full well that wasn’t normal magic. She’s an abomination.”

 _Would you stop talking about me as though I’m not here?!_ Dys screamed in her mind but her mouth wouldn’t cooperate. She was completely frozen.

“She just saved your life, Dorian. Would an abomination do that?”

Dorian scoffed. “I am perfectly capable of dispatching a singular demon. It barely even surprised me.”

“That’s what you’re taking issue with? What are we going to do about this?”

The two men eyed her warily, clearly uncomfortable with where their minds were taking them. 

“Please don’t kill me,” Dys whispered, something deep pulling the words from her. “I’m not a threat.” She hadn’t thought she was anyways, but she also hadn’t thought Love would take over like that. She could feel Love’s apology more than she could hear the words and she began to calm until that little voice fought back. She couldn’t let it reassure her yet.

Dorian squinted at her, curiosity winning over. “You are clearly an abomination. How are you maintaining control?”

“Love doesn’t want to control me. Or didn’t. I don’t know what just happened.”

“Love? Fascinating. I’ve heard rumours about people merging with benevolent spirits but I never thought I’d meet one. How did that happen? What does it feel like? Do you have control over-”

“Dorian!” Dorian promptly shut his mouth, something Dys was fairly certain she’d never seen. “We don’t have time for this right now,” Felix hissed.

“Well I suppose we don’t have to kill her. We could attempt binding her like some have done to make servants, though I’ve never tried it myself.”

Dys recoiled. After a lifetime of slavery, having any last bit of will stripped from her seemed the ultimate cruelty. “I’d rather you kill me.”

“She doesn’t seem to be a threat right now,” Dorian hedged.

“Then let’s leave it and figure this out later. We have actual demons pouring through portals, a supposedly Divine-sent man who can close them that we need to get here to help us, and my father to stop.”

“And I really want to investigate _that_ situation more.” Dorian gestured in Dys’s direction.

“Will you be able to guard this rift alone?”

Dorian had the gall to smirk in that moment and that singular expression somehow unstuck Dys’s feet. “It’s like you’ve never even met me, Felix.”

And with that they fled the Chantry.


	5. Chapter 5

This must be what going mad felt like. Dys was walking circles in the tiny room that Felix had insisted she not leave for any reason and was arguing with a voice in her head.

Who had gotten much better at talking.

_ I didn’t mean to scare you. I only wanted to save him. _

“And you exposed both of us. They were moments from killing us. They still might!”

Dys could feel a deep sadness and disappointment from Love, but not regret. Not exactly.  _ It’s Dorian,  _ it said simply.

“You don’t even know him.”

_ Of course I do. I’m connected to you, Dys. I know everything about him that you do. I did the moment we joined together. _

Dys scoffed. “Then you know he doesn’t care two nugs about me. He’s an Altus and I’m a slave he’s never thought about beyond whether I could fetch him something useful.”

_ You’re better at reading people than that. _

That gave her a moment of pause. Dys was good at reading people; she had to be to stay safe in her position. She knew a lot about Dorian that he had certainly never disclosed to her. Like how he had some deep hurt somewhere that he covered up with brashness and self-interested preening. That was plain enough to see for any who looked. Even if she hadn’t seen it herself, she could see it in how Felix was with him and she had heard snippets of rumours. There were parts of society he had stopped being welcome to at some point along the way -- and she could see that Alexius had very little interest in that side of him, caring mostly for his genius and his wit. “Protecting himself doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t see me,” she muttered.

_ I’m worried you may be drifting farther from the person I first met in the Fade. _

Dys didn’t have time to reflect on the foreboding tone as Felix opened the door and slipped inside. She jumped and retreated to the corner of the room, holding a candlestick in front of her in a sad attempt at a weapon. “Sorry,” Felix whispered. “It’s just me. I would have knocked but we need to avoid being seen.”

Dys set the candle down slowly. “Why?”

“Things are getting worse here. My father is getting worse -- and it’s apparent that he has been suspicious of you for awhile now. If he finds out he was right, you won’t be safe. Frankly, even if he doesn’t find out, I am afraid of what is coming and I don’t think any of us are safe around him anymore.”

“Where are we going?” The expression on his face was enough to tell her what he was about to say. “No. I’m not going anywhere without you.” What would she even do alone in a foreign country whose religious zealotry was particularly antagonistic towards her specific problem. Oh yes, she’d picked up that much quickly.

“Dorian is going to watch out for you; he’s already agreed. He’s going with the Herald of Andraste to convince the Inquisition to intervene in the Venatori’s plans. You’ll be safer there.”

“And what if they find out what’s in my head? Felix, you’re the closest thing I have to a friend here. Please don’t make me go,” she pleaded.

“I can’t do what’s needed here if I’m watching out for you all the time. These things are bigger than us, Dys. Dorian will keep you safe.”

“I don’t trust Dorian.”

Felix let out a long sigh. “I wish I could change that for you right now but we don’t have the time. We have to get you going before we lose our opportunity. I trust Dorian, and that needs to be enough for now.”

A cloak and a few possessions were shoved in a satchel before they slipped out the door and through a complicated network of hallways that kept them mostly away from people. When a soldier’s boots were heard clanking up ahead, it was Dys that pulled Felix into a shadowy corner behind a statue of a stuffy looking lord who likely had more jewellery than accomplishments. Their chests were pressed together and Dys could feel someone’s heart pounding erratically and hear the sound of anxious breathing. She put a hand over Felix’s mouth and nose, and one over her own. They stood frozen, staring into each other’s eyes as the steps became louder, passed by, and receded. 

“I’m starting to wonder if we should have been more worried about having you running around the estate all this time,” Felix whispered after the guard passed. 

“Quiet,” Dys hissed back. “This is your plan to send me away. Don’t ruin it.”

They didn’t encounter anyone else on their way out; Felix had timed things well. They met with Dorian in a tavern at the edge of town. “A parting toast?” He offered, sliding two goblets across the table towards them. Dys’s eyes widened. She’d never tried wine before, too cautious to sneak any in the kitchens when the others did.

“Dorian, you know we don’t have time for that. I need to return before my father notices we are missing.”

Dorian pouted. “One toast, one sip. To saving Tevinter,” he said as he raised his glass.

Felix sighed. “To our incredibly frustrating friendship.”

The two men looked at Dys expectantly, and Dorian gestured for her to take her drink. “We likely won’t be getting any on the road so you may as well do what you can to prepare.”

Dys quickly picked up the glass, all too aware of the time constraints that Dorian seemed to care nothing for. “To everyone staying safe,” she mumbled.

They all drank, Dys cautiously letting the liquid touch her lips and testing it before committing. Its bold flavour was fruity, bitter, and sour all at once and she had no idea if she liked it or not.

Felix placed his goblet back on the table with an air of finality. “Goodbye, Dorian. Goodbye, Dys.” Felix looked heavy as he nodded to each of them in turn before turning to leave. Dorian grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into a strong hug.

“I’ll see you in a few weeks, with or without the Inquisition.”

Felix said nothing in return, but embraced him back. His eyes met Dys’s and they smiled despite glassy tears. He gave one more nod before leaving without another look behind him. 

“Well, I suppose we’d better join our future comrades before they leave without us.”

“Why are you helping me?”

Dorian grabbed his satchel and his staff from where they leaned against the tavern wall, fastening them to his back with a complex series of buckles and ties. She thought he was going to ignore her question and was considering whether him ignoring her completely might not be a terrible thing when he began talking. “Well, it is certainly easier to investigate your situation if you’re close by. I am tremendously curious after all.”

“And it’s important to Felix,” he added quietly as he led her out of the tavern. 

\--

He would be lying if he said he was looking forward to this journey. So far his impression of the Inquisition’s members was that they were a rather humourless and suspicious bunch, and yet he needed them.

There had been a moment at the beginning. The Herald had walked in and quickly began aiming a bow nearly as tall as him while he nimbly navigated the Chantry, his blonde braid whipping about as he balanced on the tops of pews and laughed. He was smiling as he took out the demons, taking as much joy in his craft as Dorian did in his own, and he ran his tongue over impossibly white teeth and Dorian almost died, the man was so attractive. And then he began speaking and the moment ended. 

He’d interrogated him! As though Dorian hadn’t spent multiple hours guarding the rift and protecting the town while he waited for the man to appear and do his little trick. As though Dorian hadn’t offered his aid in taking down one of his own countrymen with no expectation of recompense. But then, his countrymen were always the issue weren’t they? The Herald was an elf after all, and they did not tend to fare well in Tevinter. The distrust was fair enough, he supposed after further consideration. But still irritating.

They waited just outside of town, all four of them, a conspicuous bunch anywhere most likely but especially among the Ferelden brown that seemed to make up most of the city. The Herald stood, patting his horse like the character in some trite book for romantics, flanked by a dwarf, a Grey Warden, and a woman who was the only other person in this whole country that seemed to have any fashion sense at all. 

“Who is that?” 

“What, no pleasantries? Very well, this is Dys.”

Dorian watched as the Herald looked her up and down, and turned with an eye to what he was seeing. Dys wore clothes that clearly marked her as a slave in Tevinter, and not just one of the underclass. She was instantly visible at any market as property and a raised scar on her forearm marked her as belonging to House Alexius. How that would translate in the south was questionable but her meek posture still communicated certain messages. She looked like his slave rather than his charge. Of course, their likely assumption would only be partly incorrect but Dorian had already ascertained that it would prove useful in detracting suspicion. These were messages he would roll with.

“No,” the Herald eventually said. “The Inquisition does not have  _ slaves. _ ”

Dorian felt heat rushing to his cheeks but he’d already committed to this course of action and there was no getting around it without exposing her, and he’d promised Felix. “You’re free to pay her if you like, but you can hardly expect me to go without any of the luxuries of home. I will, quite frankly, be a nightmare to deal with.” 

“I don’t doubt it.”

The hairy Warden, Blackwall if Dorian remembered correctly, snorted. “Josephine will be pleased. You’re returning not with an army of mages but with one pampered ‘Vint demanding the best of everything and his slave that she now has to pay.”

The Herald turned his attention away from Dorian and back towards Dys. “This man has no power here in Ferelden. As the Herald of Andraste and on behalf of the Inquisition, I am offering you your freedom. You can leave.” Dorian should have known he would get this much push back. Southerners were so stubborn. He eyed Dys warily, expecting her to take the offer and run. He would if he were in her position.

Dys chewed her bottom lip and he could see her thinking through the offer. No. More than that. He could see her turning inwards and reacting to something inside of her. “You don’t have to pay me,” she said eventually. “I’d like to stay with Master Pavus.”

The Herald frowned but indicated his assent with an inclination of his head.

“Ehh, I hate to point it out but we only have four horses.” It was the dwarf speaking this time. Dorian had been too distracted by his bold choice of neckline to catch his name when they’d been introduced.

The Herald put on a warm smile that would have made Dorian melt if he was less on edge. “Dys, you may ride with me. We can talk and you can tell me a little about Dorian and Magister Alexius on the road.”

“We could always ride together, Herald,” Dorian joked. “I’d be a much better source of information on both fronts.”

The Herald ignored him. (Ignored him! Infuriating.) His eyes remained kind as he kept his attention focused on Dys and Dorian felt the familiar pang of jealousy coiling in his stomach. Which was ridiculous. No matter how attractive his face, the man was harsh and grating and unpleasant. 

“I could tell you some of the stories of my clan,” he continued. “Our ancestors are the same, after all. My stories are your stories.”

Dorian was surprised. He had come to understand the Dalish mainly turned down their noses at elves from the cities, but perhaps that disdain did not extend to slaves whose freedom to choose was denied them. Dys’s eyes lit up and she seemed to grow two inches as she leaned forward towards the Herald. Almost as quickly it ended and she shrunk back, small and dim once more. A neat trick, if she could leverage it. “I’d rather ride with Master Pavus, thank you,” she squeaked out.

Well, that certainly didn’t make him look any better.


	6. Chapter 6

Dys was staring. She knew she was staring and she couldn’t help it. She’d just never seen anything like it. All day he had ridden at the front of the party, confidently directing the team. She could tell everyone respected him. Even the tall one with the hat that looked like she would fit right in at the Alexius estate. Even Dorian, who was surly and rode at the back of the group watched him and followed his direction. Dys wished she could see his face but from where she perched behind him, arms awkwardly switching between wrapping around him or holding his hips or shoulders, she could feel the tension in his body and the way he responded any time the Herald spoke. 

It was as if they didn’t notice the Herald was an elf. 

Such a little thing, that glowing mark on his hand, but it changed everything. Dys looked down at her own hands. Her knuckles were cracked and dry and her fingernails rough and dirty. She ran her eyes up to the back of Dorian’s head and the hint of profile she could just see when he turned his head. They had said nothing to each other the whole day, the only thing joining them being the secret they shared. Her secret. That he was sharing. For as far as Felix’s friendship got her.

Maker save her.

When they finally stopped, Dys nearly wept from relief. Only years of separating herself from her body had allowed her to disconnect from the pain of her aching back and legs. For hours her muscles had screamed at her and she could have screamed aloud with them. Instead she shut them out, along with the occasional voice of Love expressing concern.  _ You’re not helping,  _ she’d informed the spirit who urged to her request a break. 

Dorian hopped off the horse without issue, casually looping the reins around a tree branch. Dys attempted to follow suit. She awkwardly pulled her legs over to one side of the saddle and slid off to find that her legs would not respond to her commands as she painfully crumpled to the ground.

“First time riding a horse, is it?” The dwarf asked. He sounded both sympathetic and like he was teasing her, which was something Dys had never experienced before. She had no idea how she was meant to respond to that kind of remark.

A hand appeared in front of her and Dys looked up in surprise to see Dorian offering her assistance. She took his hand and let him pull her to a wobbling stand. “I think I’m supposed to be helping you out,” she joked weakly, her pain no doubt making her insane. Had she just jested with Dorian Pavus?

“Don’t tell anyone back home,” he returned. “My reputation is in enough tatters as is.” Did he just joke back at her?

“How can I help?” She asked, turning to the Herald to avoid having to process whatever just happened.

“Honestly, we’ve got this,” he smiled. “Just make sure that one doesn’t get in the way.” He nodded towards Dorian, his eyes narrowing. Dorian gave a derisive snort but the Herald didn’t seem to notice. He had already moved to begin setting up camp. The group worked quickly, each seeming to know exactly their role. They were a well practiced team, their time while travelling together clearly spent finding a routine. Even the woman in the fancy clothes was pulling her weight without question or complaint. Dys watched, her eyes tracking the patterns and looking for places she could be useful next time, trying to ignore the discomfort and irritation wafting from Dorian beside her.

“The least you could do is entertain me,” he whined as he stretched out in the grass beside her. 

“I saw some herbs a ways back that would go well with those,” Dys offered the group, ignoring him. 

The hairy human paused and looked at her, a fistful of root vegetables hanging midair. “Oh no, not another one.”

The Herald was grinning. “We do have another one, Blackwall! I dare say this puts my team in the lead.”

“We don’t know the Vint’s thoughts on the matter yet.”

“Dorian doesn’t get a vote,” he said offhandedly, although at least he called him by his name. “Come on, Dys. We’re getting herbs. You too, Dorian. Pampered noble or not, we work for our dinner on this team.”

\--

Dorian hadn’t dared argue, but holding a saddlebag as it slowly filled with the plucked herbs from two frighteningly energetic elves was not his notion of a good way to wind down after a long ride. Honestly, where did Dys even get all that energy from? She could barely stand a half bell ago.

He listened idly as the Herald entertained Dys with the arguments he’d been having with Blackwall over whether it was worth putting the time and energy into making a decent meal or whether hardtack, dried ram meat, and whatever vegetables could be stomached raw were sufficient given the circumstances. Their other companions had apparently refused to weigh in, the Madame de Fer stating that nothing the Herald could pull off on the road would make the food serviceable in any case.

Dorian himself was largely ignored, except to be brought bits of forage. The quantity seemed excessive until he realized half of what he was laden with was elfroot. Apparently the man had more than a talent for recognizing herbs with flavour potential. 

The Herald was holding a flower out to Dys. “This is Crystal Grace,” he explained. “Its rarity only makes it more beautiful.” Was he flirting with her? Dorian felt a familiar and irritating twist of jealousy. “Of course its healing properties are unique and needed so any who would keep it to simply look pretty is a fool.” Perhaps not.

Dys said nothing, but Dorian could tell she was listening. She’d always been eager to learn when he and Alexius were teaching her what she needed to assist them. It wasn’t surprising that she would be just as keen now. Still, she remained withdrawn. No doubt scared if she let her guard down that she would be somehow revealed. 

“I think we’ve gathered enough--” Dorian began when the Herald’s hand clapped quickly over his mouth. The elf moved closer to Dorian and he felt his heart stutter at the expressive eyes that pierced his. He raised a finger to his lips, indicating for Dorian to be silent and Dorian felt a quick surge of indignation before the Herald moved the hand back to grasp his bow as he stepped away. 

Dorian looked around for the threat and found nothing but the Herald was silently moving past him, an arrow knocked. It flew and a short squeak and a thud announced a new addition to their dinner.

“Alright, I’ll admit it. I should have taken your side earlier,” Varric admitted once dinner was served. The medley of vegetables and fresh meat was simple but flavourful and Dorian found himself pleased to be eating something other than the hard crackers Blackwall had produced. It wasn’t the delicious mix of sweet and spicy Tevinter meals that Dorian was used to, but it beat the bland stew he’d been served at the Redcliffe Inn. Evidently Dalish tradition, combined with whatever Dys had picked up in the kitchens back home, combined for a serviceable alternative.

“This is actually quite tolerable. Thank you, Herald,” Vivienne praised. 

“Bugger all,” Blackwall grumped. He reached a hand into his satchel and passed a coin to a chuckling Varric. 

“You think you’d have learned not to bet against Varric by now. If even a backwoods Dalish like me can figure it out, what excuse have you got?” The Herald laughed.

“Do not speak of yourself so, my dear. You are an important figurehead in our organization and it is time you carried yourself as such.” She turned her eyes to Blackwall and Dorian almost pitied him. “If you imagine I would not compliment something deserving simply because I do not flatter you, then you have drawn the incorrect conclusion.” 

“Sometimes I think the only reason you’re here is that you enjoy mocking me,” Blackwall huffed.

“You are not nearly so important or interesting, darling.” She turned her sharp eyes to Dorian. “I am more interested in why this one is here. What can you possibly have to gain from turning on your own countrymen?”

“Yes, wouldn’t it be lovely if geography determined our beliefs about right and wrong?” Dorian shot back.

“It appears to determine your beliefs about some things,” she mused, her gaze flicking to Dys and returning. 

Dorian felt the heat of his embarrassment in his face. “Yes, go after the Vint about slavery. It’s not as though you treat your lower classes much better.”

“We do not shackle them and force them to do our bidding.”

“No, you put them in towers and cut them off from the Fade if they don’t.” He wasn’t sure why he couldn’t stop. He was normally better at letting these kinds of things roll off him but for some reason he felt he needed to defend himself. “At least our slaves are cared for. If you have nothing else, you can still sell yourself for food, a roof, comfort. From what I’ve seen in the South, your poor simply die in the streets unminded by most of their countrymen.”

“I would prefer the freedom to sate my hunger or starve by my own hand then to lose it to the whim of someone who sees elves as property.” The Herald’s voice was quiet and commanded attention. The silence that followed was thick and weighted. Dorian desperately wanted someone to break it, to draw the attention away from him. His mouth felt like it was stitched tight and he could not open it even to apologize for offending him. He half-wished Dys would just spill her secrets and redeem him in some small way, but she stayed silent. She was smarter than that. 

The Herald walked away and the rest sat in silence until he returned. “I’ll take the first watch. Dorian, you’ll be in my tent so I can keep an eye on you. Dys, with Vivienne. Sorry, Varric. You’ll have to deal with Blackwall’s snoring again.”

Varric groaned and the tension was broken. The bustle of readying to bed down for the night was enough of a distraction to carry Dorian through until he lay his head down in the tent. He couldn’t sleep though. His thoughts wouldn’t slow; it had been a long time since he’d let the opinion of others affect him so thoroughly, and he hated it.


End file.
